just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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