who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
