I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
