The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
