new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dignity is for republicans.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
