can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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