i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I need to align my fucking chakras
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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