i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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