i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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