you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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