I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
