my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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