You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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