I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
