i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
