Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
