Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
