Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
