So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize