I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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