I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
