Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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