You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
