Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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