I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
