One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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