I hate all girls vehemently.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
