Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
