i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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