some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
