She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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