It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize