Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
