So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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