i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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