you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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