dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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