So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
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We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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