so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
