It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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