I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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