I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
