They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Found the puke drawer
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
send nudes
from the living room?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
