WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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