we're blogging at a bar
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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