you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize