I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
