I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My life is pants optional.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
