wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
