the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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