I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
