i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
