i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
