How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
