Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
