Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
