He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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