I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
